March 9, 2011

On Addictive Personalities

Oh my, it's been awhile. Which is sort of the inspiration for this post, I suppose.

As magicians, we often spend an inordinate amount of time pondering cause-and-effect relationships. How will the stars effect my work? How did my work effect my life? Why didn't my work, well, work? It's sort of comes with the territory.

One of the things I rarely see, however, is people questioning why they're attracted to certain areas or types of work. If one takes a sudden interest in Voodoo, for instance, odds are you'll be so wrapped up in studying the subject that you won't stop to think about why you're suddenly energized and nearly completely focused on this one subject, perhaps only to lose interest a few days/weeks/months later. Or perhaps we find a new terribly interesting subject, and simply bound off to study it, without considering what we're leaving behind.

I could easily say that the reason I haven't posted for so long (in the meantime completely neglecting my occult studies and practices) is because my long-term relationship recently ended, or because I've been busy preparing for graduation, or because I've spent a lot of time (re)applying to pharmacy schools. But to be perfectly honest with you, and with myself, the real answer is that a lot of new shiny objects (in the way of friends, booze, video games, a new job, and school opportunities) got dangled in front of me all at once, and for all my boundless interest, the things I considered important got left behind.

So why did this happen? The fuck if I know, but at least I'm thinking about it. And if it's on my mind, there's hope that when it happens again (and it will, I'm sure), I'll recognize it, and perhaps handle things with a bit more balance and grace the second time around.

For now, though, the champagne's popped (literally), and it's time to leave a few hundred blog comments. Let's do this.